There is a constant debate about whether or not weed should be legalized in the U.S.. Though I don’t smoke anymore, yes people,despite what you read on this blog I am in fact, not a pothead, I still see many benefits from the legalization of weed. Before you get your panties in a twist, roll one up and read these 5.
1) Weed makes lame people funny: I’ve got a few friends that are, for lack of a better term, as dull as watching grass grow. When they get high though, they turn into comedians. They make jokes about funny stuff like tea bagging nuns or tripping old people. They do crazy things like see how many freezer pops they can eat in 10 minutes or try to fly off of my stairs. It’s all good. The world needs more laughter. So why not legalize weed so that when you walk down the street you can hit a joint and when your friends find a nice old homeless guy and then make him fall down you don’t have to hide your laughter for fear of legal prosecution.
2) Nothing says lovin like gettin high with grandma: If weed were legal people could start to use it as a family bonding experience. Go to visit grams at the old folks home and blaze one. Then when she starts to fart the feared old lady farts that smell like the devil himself crawled up there and released the evil, you will laugh instead of leave. When your mom wants to talk to you about your future you can get her stoned and eat a half gallon of ben and jerry’s instead and avoid calling her a nosy shrill bitch. Or when your kids turn 16 and start to blaze with their friends you can toke with them and go from lame ass to awesome mom in all of two hits. Or, and this is my personal fave, you can take hash brownies to the church bake sale and watch all the stiff jesus types get all sinner like. Ahhh, sinning, if that’s not family bonding I don’t know what is.
3) Weed is less harmful or addictive than alcohol or tobacco: Being prejudiced should be over by now. But no, the government hates weed but thinks that tobacco or alcohol should be legal. Why are you hatin on poor weed? Alcohol will kill you, it turns you into an addict when consumed too much and if you just drink too much even one time you could die right then and there. I have never heard of somebody dying from weed poisoning. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it is almost impossible to OD on weed. I’ve never heard of anyone robbing a liquor store for weed money. Tobacco causes cancer, low birth weight, heart disease, and a bunch of other ugly that I won’t list cause I lovez me some cancer sticksI don’t want to. Weed just makes you hungry and happy. Why do they want to stop people from havin some happy? Weed never did anything to you, poor weed just hangs out, trying to make people understand the significance of Pink Floyd and bring you closer to nature, or cheeseburgers, whatever.
4) Gettin high is relaxing: When you’ve had a tough day at work or school or at the mcdonald’s you work at, coming home and burning one is a great way to relax. Maybe you have a tightly wound sweetheart and the only way to get her to stop bitching and give you some play is when she is sufficiently lit. Maybe your boss is such a d-bag that you fantasize about blazing with him so he would chill the shiz out and you could both take a breather. When you’re high all you want to do is mellow out and have a good time. Weed could help the bitchy,stressed and angry messes take a step back and relax for shitz sake. And think of the boost to the fast food companies, the munchies are real people, so real.
5) Legalizing weed will help clear out the prison systems: I know that alot of people are in the hoo-skow for selling weed and we the peeps are paying alot of money to house them in these prisons. If prisons were less crowded due to the release of weed dealers maybe those folks would calm down. The prisoners might stop dressing each other up and gettin real freaky naughty with each other. they may even stop shanking guards cuz their sammich was all icky today. If folks weren’t all crammed together like cattle they may decide to be nice. And if they didn’t, weed would be legal and all, just blow em a shotgun and wait for em to start singing sublime and playing spades again.