Posts Tagged ‘BFF’

5 ways to know you have a true bestie


 I have the most loyal friends in the world. They are always there for me, they share their cheetos, even when they are soo stoned they can’t stop laughing at the carpet, and they have been around for so long that they love me unconditionally, even when I blog about their beanie babies collection, or their crack smokin husbands (sorry girls!). Here are 5 ways to know if your friend is a true BFF or just a stragler you can’t shake.


1) No mission is too great: Ahh the good old days, teenage years of smokin cigs behind your parents back and finding new and inventive ways to buy them. You are underage and all, but why should that stop you from stunting your growth and gettin you some much needed cancer? So, when your fake ID isn’t workin anymore and you need a smoke, your bestie will volunteer to break into her piggy bank. The cute pink one she’s had since birth, and help you get cash for smokes. Once you have violated the little piggy, you realize you still can’t actually purchase them, what to do? Of course your homie has the answer! Call the local take out taxi, they go whereever you want and buy your food then bring it to you, just include a pack of Marlboro’s in your order and in less than an hour voila! Cancer. She is such a genius, how could you ever forget it? Years from now, when you have a tube in your throat and have to write down your thoughts since you can’t speak anymore, she’ll be there, blowin you shotguns so you can get your fix.


2) They always have your back: I’m sure you’ve all seen it, that christmas movie where the kid sticks his tongue to a pole and it gets stuck. One day, you and your bestie are walikng around your apartments, it’s cold outside, night time in the dead of winter and there is frost on the ground. Of course you feel brave tonight, a certain rank smellin neighbor boy smoked the sweet gonja with you and you just know if you stuck your tongue to a pole that it wouldn’t  stick. It would be hilarious, and you would earn major cool points for bravery. So you do it, and it gets stuck. You are panicking and with much effort, you tell her to ” guh geh some hot wawa”. At first she can’t stop laughing at you, but eventually she runs to that damn neighbor boy’s house and finds no one is home. Oh man, she has to go back to your house, and there’s no way your mom is letting her out of the house without asking why she’s carrying a big pan full of hot water. She runs off leaving you standing there,w ith your face stuck to a pole, hoping with all your heart your hot boyfriend doesn’t come over and find you like that, oh please god, please hurry.  After an eternity she returns, seeming more than a little excited about pouring that hot water down our face, and oh look, your mom came too. She tells you later how she tried to hurry but just couldn’t stop laughing, she said she even peed a little. What really matters though, is she did it, and then she of course, told everybody.


3) They keep all your secrets: You know some of your friends are the gossipy type, ones who can’t be trusted with gas prices let alone your deepest darkest secrets. Not your bestie though, you tell them everything and they keep it locked up tight, they would never let anything slip and it’s one of the reasons you love them so much. They never even told your parents about the patry you had when your other BFF ( slightly retarded but still a good girl) jumped on your dining room table and broke it, right in half. Thank god one of the boys had some knowledge of carpentry. That’s right, she never said a word, she just held her breath everytime there was a holiday and hoped to god the table didn’t collapse. 


4) They’re always ready to give you good advice: Your friend is the shiz. They never falter when it’s crunch time and you need advice. What should you do about your relationship? How do you hide your report card from your parents? Do they think you can juggle a few dozen guys without getting caught? They always have answers for you. When you and your other pal decide, one hot sunny summer afternoon, to have a water fight that somehow stretched into your house and completely trashed it, they will call you. And of course, being the friend you are, you are ready to give them helpful, well thought out advice, so they can still come over tomorrow. When they tell you about what they’ve done you have the perfect solution, tell your mom your house was broken into! Go around and trash stuff, hide things, and then call your mom and tell her that’s how you found the place! No one will be the wiser. She thinks you are a genius, as well she should. So when she does this, and then her mom calls the police subsequently resulting in her being totally busted and almost hauled off to the clinker, she never tells anyone you told her to do it, that’s what friends are for.


5) Honesty is key: This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of  connectedness of the relationship. A true friend will not keep information from you even though it’s something that you might not want to hear or that might hurt you, if they felt it was the right thing to do. They will tell you your boyfreind hit on them, they’ll tell you those pants make you r ass look huge, and that it’s because your ass actually is huge. They’ll even tell you when your obnoxious know it all self  has crossed the line byblogging about their personal shiz on your wanna be LTR site. And of course, you’ll respect them for that, and their trust in your friendship. Of course you understand, you’re their friend, but maybe, in the interest of honesty, you tell them that  if they weren’t so hilariously tragic you wouldn’t write about them. I mean come on, how can you pass up the opportunity to rag on their beanie baby collection, or the crack headed mess their husband is, or how they wear toe socks and flip flops? You tell them, with love of course, that the price of friendship is being blogged about sometimes, and they should keep a sense of humor about it. It’s not like you use their names or anything. Besides, you remember a certain little incident where they told one hot ex of yours about you sticking your tongue to a pole. We’ll just call it even.


4a6f09b0fe1a8fbd954df723b6508619I have 98 hits!! I have to wonder if those hits are due to some beautiful pics of his royal hotness but who am I to be picky? So I’m almost at 100!!! Not that it’s huge or anything but I’m happy about it. Recently I have been doing a whole lot of nothin, uh, yeah nothin. Life is slowly crawling by but in a good kinda way. So this brings me to my lil entry for today, have you ever been having a really bad day and then heard from one of your friends or family and then suddenly felt soooo much better about your own life?

                  I know it’s terrible. I can’t help hearing how my girlfriend’s hubby is a loser, or how my sister in law wants to literally kill her boyfriend and thank my lucky stars that my life doesn’t suck as much as theirs. It gives me some comfort, kinda like a things could be worse type of deal, and it makes me feel a little proud that I have managed to keep my life from reaching the very sad places some of their’s have gotten to. I knoe I can’t possibly be the only one who feels that way, my BFF since the 4th grade(who also wants RPattz to show up at her door looking for directions and then have some weird porn play out in head about what would happen next) and I have another mutual longtime friend who we will call Mrs.O ( o for oblivious). She doesn’t talk to Mrs. O as often as I do so she usually checks up on her through me. When we talk about this friend and how she’s doing we both generaaly end the convo saying how glad we are that her life isn’t ours.

             I have to wonder if that is hateful or disgusting somehow, making yourself feel better by seeing someone else’s hardships. I started asking around and found out that it’s not just me and BFF that do this, it’s alot more people as well. Many people feel better when they hear that Joe is cheating on Sally and she doesn’t want to admit it’s happening, thank god you’re not married to such a jerk. Or how about when Bob is having financial trouble, he should’ve been smarter, maybe not bought that 42 inch plasma ( the one you really wanted) and he would have some money. Why do you think that is?

       I know for me, my relationship has been under scrutiny for a longt long time. My 2 closest friends were making bets at my reception about how long they thought it would last. Now that my husband and I are quickly approaching our 8 year anniversary I seem to take pleasure in hearing how their relationships are failing, or going to fail. In one instance, my friend uses my marriage as a hope for hers. I love it, yes love it, that her marriage is not doing so well and that her husband is really not good for her. I don’t love that she is hurting, I don’t wish her sadness or hurt, but maybe the fact that they thought I couldn’t last, or that my husband was a jerk, and that we would be divorced at the most within a year, makes me a little bitter. People who live in glass houses and everything. So when they are all sad and their marriages are ccrumbling, or their money is short, it feels good to know I’m in a better postion than they are. I hate being doubted, I hate being told I can’t or shouldn’t do something.

   I know getting a lil satisfaction out of other people’s misfortune is wrong, but then again……….. why waste a perfectly good HA HA moment, even if you can’t share it with anyone else.