In honor of our new author Kimmie, I thought I should give her af ew tips on blog writing. It is, after all, hard work. It’s not easy turning out these little extremely offensive, hilarious blogs. I hope this helps you when you think of the next 5 reasons.
1) Take all sense of decency, and throw it in the dumpster ( that’s what she said): It’s hard writing a blog. You have to come up with ideas about things people can relate to while trying to be mindful of certain moral boundaries. After a while it becomes harder to censor yourself. The solution? Don’t. There are no rules, we write what we want and hope that it makes people laugh, or cringe. either way it’s all good. If you have to mention dumpster lovin or going gay, so be it. You are free to be a disgusting freak, in fact, I like you better that way.
2)Don’t try to hard: If writing this blog ever becomes anything more than fun, I’ll stop. You can’t try to hard. Good humor (or bad taste, whatever) should come naturally. If it’s not coming to you, give it time. The obscene and offensive are always lurking in your mind somewhere, waiting to come out and make your mom ashamed. And if all else fails, call me, I never run out of ways to embarass my family.
3) Promote us shamelessly: I spend hours everyday going on sites and posting links to our blog. In fact, a certain Myspace rip off ( we’ll call it mace book) recently sent me an email telling me to stop posting links to our site or they would ban me. What did I do? I posted more links!!! This blog, our baby, is more important than any lame ass site, you must post links!! It’s your job to tell everyone about our site and make them read it. If they don’t, never underestimate the power of physical violence. That’s right, slap a bitch. And if you find you’re being censored by some conservative social network, well just post a link to our page and make sure you add a little bit more filth in the next blog.
4)You must always keepz it real: We will find ourselves tackling many topics in this blog. Gay marriage, the effects too much Twilight can have on your life, or ways to slip a psycho. It’s important stuff. Our readers (love you!), have come to know a certain level of blunt ( or obnoxious) honesty. They look to us to tell them the real about things. When you are brainstorming you have to be sure that you stand by what we say. If you feel the need to comment on how weed should be legal so that you can achieve your dream of smokin a blizzy with Barack Obama, do it. If you think that somone should come to defend Britney Spears, I mean who hasn’t shown their crotch to a photographer at least once, then do it. We won’t judge you.
5) Damn the man, save the empire : The world is full of haters. I’ve had my share of angry messages, people who don’t appreciate the way I illustrate the helpfullness of lesbians by describing all the handy ways they can help you around the house ( find me a les who doesn’t know how to build a porch and I’ll give you a dollar), or who don’t like how I talked about blowin a guy behind a dumpster, in my defense, at least I didn’t say I would blow him in the dumpster. It’s all about self expression here, damn them, if they don’t like it that’s fine. We don’t want tards as readers anyway, they drool all over everything and never really understand it anyway. Save the empire that is Aquired Taste. Sure we don’t make money from this, but it’s about the principle, when you have 7 loyal readers it’s a damn empire.
I know we have more than 7 readers and we love you all. I can’t say thank you enough for how much you visit and read our blog, We just hit 7,000 hits. I’m so excited to see what crazy shiz we will come up with next.
What are those tards laughin at?